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A Personal Note/Reflection From St.Vincents
Dear Mike, Evan, Angelo, Matthew, and the Gotham City Team...(Please
forward to Evan Knoll and Jim Jannard if you can, I don't have their
email addresses)
There is no way to adequately thank each of you for everything you've
done to help the Faulkners, St. Vincent Health System, myself, and
countless other families who have suffered a pregnancy or infant loss.
Your dedication to this cause will have a "ripple-effect" beyond your
imagining...it already has! I thought it would be more meaningful to
tell you things from my heart before the sale of the EBF car at the
Barrett-Jackson Auction, because it's not about how much money the car
brings, it's about the stories surrounding the car and the hearts of
those who were involved in its conception, design, performance,
promotion, sponsorship, handling, transport, prayers, hospitality, and
kindnesses too numerous to count.
Please indulge me one more kindness and read the following. It's
lengthy, but I really want you to know my perception and this facet of
the story. It's the first time I've written it all at once and I
wanted it to go to you all first.
Every year in this country:
* 39,000 babies are stillborn (delivered without signs of life
after the gestational age of 20 weeks). One in every 115 deliveries in
a hospital is a stillbirth!
* One in every 5 pregnancies ends in miscarriage (before 20 weeks gestation).
* One in every 102 live births result in death before the age of
28 days. These are NOT deaths due to SIDS; most of them are premature,
and it is on the rise.
To summarize, one out of every 3-4 pregnancies in the U.S. ends in a
loss. At our health system, based on our delivery numbers, we care for
20-25 miscarriages and 3-4 stillbirths or newborn deaths a month.
That's nearly a loss a day.
Historically, people (even doctors) don't want to talk about these
losses, because they don't know how. These parents are given
ridiculous advice (you're young, you can have others, at least you
didn't know this baby, there was probably something wrong anyway, God
needed him more than you did), and so they often feel isolated and
defeated without much support.
There is very little research being done to prevent these losses.
Obstetricians and nurses are given little to no instruction in dealing
with losses and the psycho-social needs of these families. Siblings
are devastated, then helpless to deal with the family dynamics after a
loss.
What these families need is acknowledgement, information, and support, which each of you and the NHRA have given!
On May 24th, you all know that Hollie came to us for care because Eric
Blake hadn't been moving. When she was placed on the fetal monitor
there was no heartrate, and the worst was confirmed by an ultrasound.
Little Eric had died. We found at delivery that there had been an
umbilical cord accident that had cut off his circulation. Donnie was
in Indianapolis and had to get home quickly to be with Hollie. I was
there when Donnie arrived.
The hardest thing for me to deal with in these situations is to look at
the faces of grieving parents and be asked the question, "Why?" and
"Will this happen again?" and "Why did God do this?" and "What do we do
now?"...What do we do now? is cruel in itself. State laws that don't
acknowledge the existence of a baby unless it is born alive, require
the parents to make arrangements for the body, and file a death
certificate. And women have to labor for hours, push, and deliver with
no reward at the end.
Donnie and Hollie endured all this, and much more that I'm not at
liberty to say. And we finally met Eric Blake and had to say Hello and
Goodbye at the same time. And Donnie did all the things he could think
of to do, trying to spare Hollie as much as he could, because this is
what fathers and husbands do. So I helped him, because this is what I,
and others like me, do.
Donnie came into my office the day Hollie was to go home. Now, if you
all don't know it, Donnie can be very forceful and persistant. He
insisted on knowing my favorite restaurant no matter the cost. He
wanted to thank me for helping him. I told him how nice that was, but
did he know that $40.00 would buy a memory box for another family and
could be donated in Eric's name? He said, "Well, I could do that too",
and then asked me again about the restaurant. I also happen to be a
little relentless, so I took him out in the waiting room and showed him
where a $100.00 donation to our Foundation would put Eric's name on our
"Gifts From Above" wall plaque forever. Donnie asked me what a couple
of thousand dollars would do, and I told him that we would be moving to
the campus across the street soon, and building a new bereavement area,
and there could be a naming opportunity. He said he'd see what he
could do.
He came back within days with a letter that he had mailed out to 500
people. Within three days we had 13K donated---within a week, 27K
---and it just kept on coming! We would have a lasting memorial to
Eric Blake Faulkner.
Then Donnie told me about the response he got from Evan, Jim, Mike,
Chip, and many others to sponsor and race a tribute car. I knew
nothing about cars or races, especially drag racing, and have never
even been to a race, so I didn't know whether to believe him or think
it was wishful thinking on his part. I had much to learn, so I gave up
Mike Wallace and 60 Minutes and started watching ESPN2 on Sunday
nights. Week after week I tried to learn, writing down names of teams
and drivers and scratching my head over the eliminations and the points
system, and what the heck does smoking the tires mean? I filled a
notebook, not sure if I could ever have so much as a conversation about
drag racing, but I wanted to know what was going on if I got to go to
the U.S Nationals in Indy and watch this tribute car race its one
race. It touched my heart every time I saw other cars race with little
Eric's footprints on them. I made a list of the cars who displayed
them---and those few who didn't! Monday mornings I would call Donnie
and Hollie and asked dumb questions. Then I would get on the websites
and try to learn more...
I was so grateful---I knew this car could help Donnie and Hollie by
showing them how much love their racing familiy had for them, and how
it would help our program, and create public awareness of the plight of
these families. Then Labor Day weekend arrived and I got to the track
in Indy and heard the first sounds of the engines...and something
happened...I realized what a big deal this was, and why people loved
this stuff! (Sound that you can feel is ecstasy!) And I realized how
many people love Donnie and Hollie. I saw that when something happens
to someone in this community, it happens to all of them. You don't
know how hard it is for me to convince person after person, doctor
after doctor, how devastating pregnancy loss is---but the NHRA family
"got it"---and they got it without me.
And so, at that juncture, I realized that there was something greater
than all of us at work in the racing world and in Indianapolis. And
then I saw the car. It was so moving, I kind of collapsed and cried
(now this isn't so dramatic...remember, I didn't know much about drag
racing---all of a sudden it was real). I had seen Chip's drawing, I
had my shirt, I'd been walking along nitro alley...and I had my EBF
limited edition sunglasses on...I was excited and hopeful. But there
is something that happens to everyone I've seen who encounters that
particular car for the first time...it is Reverence---and an intuition
that this car is really something special...
...and so, I fell in love with a car! And became a fan of drag racing,
and the stories of drag racing I will spread, as you will hear later.
Everyone was so kind to me...hospitality, hugs, letting me pray over
the car before its unveiling (and praying with me). I so appreciated
being included in the event and getting a behind-the-scenes, up front
and personal education about drag racing. You can't imagine how I felt
at the unveiling, seeing and hearing thousands of fans on their feet
cheering for the cause that this one little life represented!
What are the odds? That my very first drag racing experience would
involve a special car for one of my families...that my name would be on
it...that the car would mean so much...and that it would
WIN!!!!!!!...and that I would be allowed to celebrate with the
winners...this was all too much for me. And the look of healing on
Donnie and Hollie's faces was priceless. I thank each of you for that
most of all.
After I crashed from the nitro fumes (which I love), I had to drive to
Memphis two weeks later for more. Same hospitality and thrills, but I
missed seeing the car...
And then, earlier this month, we got to have the car at St. Vincent to
display. It was such a success! We promoted its arrival to our 3000
employees (drag racing's newest fans), and the central Arkansas
community via radio and television. Angelo and the drivers---Thanks
Ben and Eric!) were very professional and quickly and safely had the
car unloaded and positioned in our lobby. One family from a town 50
miles from here came at 2 pm and stood in the cold and rain with their
two little boys until 8 pm when the car was unloaded so they could see
it and have their picture taken with it. Local celebrity Bob Robbins of
KSSN 96-FM did a four hour live remote fom our lobby the next day, and
thank you Angelo and Mike for your interviews! This brought many folks
in to see the car. The next morning, Donnie and I were on local CBS
affiliate KTHV's morning show. Our lobby had people in it at all times
to be with the car.
Here's the greatest thing...every child who saw the car had a moment
with it. Each one would start at the front of the car, and walk the
length of it, matching their hand prints to the ones along the side,
working their way to the back. They did so quietly, reverently...no
kiddie-craziness here, just awe and curiosity. At the rear of the car,
on the wall, is a life-size crucifix. Almost without exception, the
children would stop at the end of the car and look for a long moment at
the crucifix. One little girl asked her daddy who that was, and he
said, "It's the Christ". She said, "But he has boo-boos" and right
there, her daddy sat on the floor with her and told her the story...I
could see her nodding, then she got up and walked over to it and bent
over to kiss the feet. She asked if that was Jesus' car.
My own grandson, Jack, who has an autism spectrum disorder, was amazed
by the car, and spent a long time looking at it and touching it. I
asked him how he liked the race car, and he informed me that it wasn't
a race car, but an Angel Car (thank you, Angelo for your extra time and
attention with Jack, who still calls you that Angel man). We hadn't
discussed the purpose of the car with Jack...he just sees things that
most of us don't see. The stories go on and on. I wish I had time to
tell them all.
When it was time for the car to leave, it was so sad...but our chaplain
had been charged with praying over the car before it left for Arizona.
She almost didn't make it...it was already loaded! But the crew member
with the car (I know who you are---I have footage, but I want to give
you a little privacy here) lifted her up on the ramp to the car and
knelt with her up there as she prayed for the car's travel and
purpose---that Purpose Beyond Reason.
I look forward to seeing some of you in Scottsdale...it will be
bittersweet for me...becuase I know it will be the last time I see that
special car. But, like Eric Blake's name and purpose, the car and its
special stories will live on for years to come. I will be traveling
the country with my work, and have a great Power Point presentation and
DVD of the race that will be shown wherever I go. I am already booked
for La Crosse, Wisconsin; Clearwater, Florida (our national
convention); San Antonio, Texas (our corporate Quality Convention- and
Donnie and Hollie are going to speak with me at this one); and several
others pending.
I hope the New Year brings you much joy and many blessings. I just
read the NHRA driver blog (all of it) for GCR, and I am honored to know
such wonderful human beings who know what matters most in
life...family, love, faith, and good friends. Evan and Jim, I am
waiting patiently to thank you in person.
Thanks for taking me in, if only for a time, and for blessing my life
so richly. My faith in the hearts of people has been strengthened.
I hope none of you or your loved ones ever need my services, but if
they should, know that they will receive the very best I, and St.
Vincent, have to offer.
In His Love, Lynette
ps---Donnie and Hollie have taken me out to eat after all...go figure!
Lynette Spruiell
RTS Coordinator
Journey Perinatal Bereavement Program
St. Vincent Doctors Hospital
6101 St. Vincent Circle
Little Rock, AR 72205
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